Escape

I'm trying to be good and write a post a week.  And so far, so good.  Go me!

But I'm going to be bad today.  I'm posting, but I'm going to be a bit off topic.

I'm writing about escape.

 Escapism more precisely, and in a way, it does tie into the whole point of this blog.

...

Let me just start with Friday after school.

After school on Friday, I was originally planning to stay and do lots of work so life would be easy this weekend and I would be all set to go on Monday.  Due to an incident at the end of the day, I found myself finally in my classroom after 4pm.  My head was pounding, I was starving, and I was done.  I packed up everything I planned on working on that day and went home.

Where I promptly parked on the couch, ate dinner, watched Castle, and started passing out from exhaustion.

Why yes, I do have fun, rocking Friday nights.  And no, this is not quite typical.  Usually I make it to 9 before becoming incapable of staying awake.  This was only about 7.

So at just about 7, I collapsed into my bed and fell asleep despite the still visible sun.

Saturday, I woke up at... about 7.  Yay for 12 hours of much needed sleep! After less than two hours of mandatory volunteering and some tasty lunch, my roommate and I returned home.  She was exhausted and went to nap, but I?  I slept for 12 hours the night before!  That's about twice of what I usually get in a night!  So I grabbed my school iPad and began looking into different apps.  Fully intending to clean, grade, or at least play some ukulele as soon as I was done...

...I passed out cold for 4 hours.

Really, body?  Really?  You were that tired?  You had barely been AWAKE for four hours.  Son, I am disappoint. Upon my waking, I did what any productive person would do.

I watched the Lizzie Bennet Diaries for hours and made dinner.

Oh, I went out on Saturday night.  Then stayed in bed most of Sunday morning to finish watching all 100 videos of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which is a fantastic modernization of Pride and Prejudice for anyone out there that hasn't seen it.  I laughed, I cried, and I wondered.

Over the course of the webseries, Lizzie (a girl my age) begins to discover herself as a person and come to terms with those growing up things, like moving out of her parent's house, finding a job doing what she loves, and (of course) falling in love with Darcy.

Which brings me to my point.

My weekends are typically filled with escapism, whether it's reading, watching tv, or just plain daydreaming while laying at the pool or beach.  I have a high stress job.  I need my escape.  But I'm noticing just how much these different books and shows are shaping my worldview, and it's really affecting my ability to make this decision.

Like Lizzie, I'm a young adult, trying to figure out who I am and what I want to be.  (Beyond my teaching career.  I want to be so much more than my career.)  And then I realized, all of these stories are telling me that there will be some man in my life when the time comes to make the big decision.  Like, my adult life won't really start until I find some wonderful guy to sweep me off me feet and we'll ride off into the sunset together.

And let's be real.  While I have dated--Believe me, I've dated--I have not been in a relationship for about 5 years.  Five years!  And let's be real, Mr. Right isn't going to magically stroll into my life in the nick of time and help me make this decision.  There's a part of me that really wants some southern gentleman or PA guy to sweep me off my feet and be a contributing factor in my decision, but I need to make this decision on my own.  No one is going to make it for me. 

And while escaping is nice, I think I need to find different means of escapism.  Where's a good, heartwarming story or movie that ends with the strong, independent young female character happily setting off on a path without a man?  And not one of those bittersweet endings either.  I mean an honest to goodness, happy to be me, young adult story.

Maybe I'll just have to go write one.

Comparison of Teacher Salary and a Comment on Unions

I'm a very logical thinker, and I like to see things by the numbers.  Let's look at teaching by the numbers for my two beloved states.

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, the average elementary school teacher earned $54,965 in 2011.  Pennsylvania teachers earned $59,344, well above the national average, while South Carolina teachers earned $48,461, well below the national average.  So if I moved back to Pennsylvania, I could earn an average of $10,000 more a year, making it easier for me to pay off those college loans and start brand new college loans so I can earn a Master's degree and get closer to reaching that national average.  (I am earning over $10,000 less than the national average for South Carolina elementary teachers according to the website.) 

My options are even more open in Pennsylvania where I have 3 middle school certificates on top of my elementary certificate.  If I decided to teach middle school, I could earn an average of $61,030 according to the US Department of Labor.  That's not even an option for me in South Carolina because of the certification I received.  However if I really wanted to get a reciprocal middle school certificate, I would be looking at $56,280.  Keep in mind that that number is from a 2012 report while all of my other numbers are from 2011 reports.

A list of the best and worst states to make a living came out earlier this year.  If I were to make my decision based on that, the choice would be clear.  Pennsylvania is ranked 19th while South Carolina is way down at 46th.  While cost of living is generally higher in the Philadelphia area, there are areas near Charleston with similar costs of living.

So far, PA is kicking some serious butt in this fight.

Which brings me to working conditions and unions.  When I was working in Pennsylvania, I enjoyed duty free lunch, a planning period, and some pretty decent health benefits.  While I was not a huge fan of unions, they did a lot for me.  I was a bit miffed when I realized I had to give a small part of my paycheck to the unions each pay period, but I accepted that it was well worth the cost of the pay and benefits I enjoyed as a non-union employee of the school who benefited from all the union did.  All teachers and paraprofessionals had the same pay scale and benefits whether or not they were in the union, and all employees had due process.

In South Carolina there are no teaching unions.  In fact, union is kind of a dirty word that earns glares or worse for most people who utter the word.  Except, of course, the teachers who are longing for the simple things in life.  Things like a bathroom break.  If I went to the bathroom the minute before my students walked into my classroom, I would have to wait 6 hours and 45 minutes for my first duty free moment of time.  Which means that unless I can have a coworker watch my class during lunch (only 4 and a half hours into the day), I am waiting about 7 hours to go to the bathroom.  God forbid I have some sort of bathroom related emergency during that time.  God forbid I drink a caffeinated beverage that morning.  And that's just a result of not having a duty free lunch.

Without unions, first year teachers in South Carolina have no due process.  You heard me.  They can be fired for any reason at any time.  They have no rights.  Your principal doesn't like you?  You're teaching career is over.  I know people who have had that happen to them here in South Carolina.  As for the health "benefits," teachers are eligible for the state health plan, which costs double the plan I had in Pennsylvania while easily giving me half of what my old plan offered.

So let's be real.  From a monetary standpoint, the decision is clear.  Pennsylvania offers me better pay (including adjustments for cost of living) and better quality of life than South Carolina.  Unfortunately, the decision is not that simple, but here's where I stand on the issue so far:

PA - 2
SC - 0

My Two Roads

I have always enjoyed the poetry of Robert Frost.  Something about it has always spoken to me.  Now that I am at a crossroads in my life, I find myself identifying heavily with the speaker in The Road Not Taken. 

After spending two years searching for a teaching job in the Philadelphia suburbs, I joined Teach for America hoping that a wonderful new door would be opened for me.  I applied knowing that I would probably be taken far from home, and as a young, single, recent college graduate, that was fine with me.  It was just for two years, and I could go wherever from there.  Wherever, of course, meaning a school district back in the burbs of Philly more likely to hire me now that I survived two years of teaching in a high need school.

Only a few months into teaching in my new home of Charleston, South Carolina, something began to change.  I began speaking of "if" I came back instead of "when."  The south and the Holy City were winning me over.  I taught one very challenging year, at a very challenging school with a supportive administration, wonderful coworkers, and kids who needed all the love I could give.

Finally, at the end of that year, I started to feel like a complete adult.  Not only was I no longer depending on my family financially, they were a 12 hour drive away.  My metamorphosis from child to young adult was finally complete.  As my second and final Teach for America year begins, I find myself looking to the horizon, wondering where I should fly.

To the north lies Pennsylvania, my home of 24 years.  I learned throughout my life that home was not a place as much as it was being with the people I love.  Most of them are in Pennsylvania.  I miss the change of the seasons and how the trees seem to catch fire with the changing of the leaves.  I miss the sweet smell of autumn and the sharp, crisp smell of winter's chill.  I miss (looking at) snow and the joy that teachers and students alike feel on a snow day.  I miss soft pretzels, Wawa, real (chicken) cheese steaks, pierogis, and all the tastes of home.  I miss the woods and the rolling hills and the smell of home.

To the south (or here I guess I should say) lies South Carolina, my home of one year.  Charleston quickly accepted and welcomed me and made me feel like I belonged here all along.  Once again, I feel a place calling to me, saying, "You belong here!" while my heart rails against it saying, "Who here is your home?  So many people come and go in life.  It's the people who stay with you that are home!"  Meanwhile the hot sun holds me close while the cicadas sing.  The Spanish moss sways in the breeze and the heavy, humid scent of summer fills me.  I joyfully devour (real) barbecue, hush puppies, sweet tea, biscuits, and all sorts of southern comforts.  The flat swamps intrigue me and the wide beaches call to me.

So what is this blog?  This is one traveler standing and looking down two paths.  It is my musings, weighings, and wonderings as I try to decide which road I will travel after this year is done.  Because knowing how way leads on to way, I doubt I will ever truly come back to one for more than a visit once the decision is made.