But I'm going to be bad today. I'm posting, but I'm going to be a bit off topic.
I'm writing about escape.
...
Let me just start with Friday after school.
After school on Friday, I was originally planning to stay and do lots of work so life would be easy this weekend and I would be all set to go on Monday. Due to an incident at the end of the day, I found myself finally in my classroom after 4pm. My head was pounding, I was starving, and I was done. I packed up everything I planned on working on that day and went home.
Where I promptly parked on the couch, ate dinner, watched Castle, and started passing out from exhaustion.
Why yes, I do have fun, rocking Friday nights. And no, this is not quite typical. Usually I make it to 9 before becoming incapable of staying awake. This was only about 7.
So at just about 7, I collapsed into my bed and fell asleep despite the still visible sun.
Saturday, I woke up at... about 7. Yay for 12 hours of much needed sleep! After less than two hours of mandatory volunteering and some tasty lunch, my roommate and I returned home. She was exhausted and went to nap, but I? I slept for 12 hours the night before! That's about twice of what I usually get in a night! So I grabbed my school iPad and began looking into different apps. Fully intending to clean, grade, or at least play some ukulele as soon as I was done...
...I passed out cold for 4 hours.
Really, body? Really? You were that tired? You had barely been AWAKE for four hours. Son, I am disappoint. Upon my waking, I did what any productive person would do.
I watched the Lizzie Bennet Diaries for hours and made dinner.
Oh, I went out on Saturday night. Then stayed in bed most of Sunday morning to finish watching all 100 videos of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which is a fantastic modernization of Pride and Prejudice for anyone out there that hasn't seen it. I laughed, I cried, and I wondered.
Over the course of the webseries, Lizzie (a girl my age) begins to discover herself as a person and come to terms with those growing up things, like moving out of her parent's house, finding a job doing what she loves, and (of course) falling in love with Darcy.
Which brings me to my point.
My weekends are typically filled with escapism, whether it's reading, watching tv, or just plain daydreaming while laying at the pool or beach. I have a high stress job. I need my escape. But I'm noticing just how much these different books and shows are shaping my worldview, and it's really affecting my ability to make this decision.
Like Lizzie, I'm a young adult, trying to figure out who I am and what I want to be. (Beyond my teaching career. I want to be so much more than my career.) And then I realized, all of these stories are telling me that there will be some man in my life when the time comes to make the big decision. Like, my adult life won't really start until I find some wonderful guy to sweep me off me feet and we'll ride off into the sunset together.
And let's be real. While I have dated--Believe me, I've dated--I have not been in a relationship for about 5 years. Five years! And let's be real, Mr. Right isn't going to magically stroll into my life in the nick of time and help me make this decision. There's a part of me that really wants some southern gentleman or PA guy to sweep me off my feet and be a contributing factor in my decision, but I need to make this decision on my own. No one is going to make it for me.
And while escaping is nice, I think I need to find different means of escapism. Where's a good, heartwarming story or movie that ends with the strong, independent young female character happily setting off on a path without a man? And not one of those bittersweet endings either. I mean an honest to goodness, happy to be me, young adult story.
Maybe I'll just have to go write one.
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